Self, You’re about as profound as the shit in your toilet bowl
I don’t know where all of this animosity is coming from. Maybe I’m jealous, envious of some of my friends. Sometimes things just come to them so easily, so effortlessly while I’m struggling.
I have baggage, heavy baggage that seems to infect the relationships around me. I don’t know how to relieve myself of them and of this sickness that has always been inside me.
There wasn’t any competition between us, but now there seems to be this unspoken thing. Always needing to be the “baddest bitch” or the brightest colored, or the most fashionable. To distract from my ugliness. The more skin I show, the less ugly I feel and that’s a huge problem.
It’s a problem because I don’t think people will find me interesting or beautiful unless my hair is crazily colored, my outfits are eccentric, and my lips brightly colored. Being me, plain ol’ me, is something i don’t really want people to get to know.
I am myself most when I am alone.